Inside of us all lies the broken fragments of our inner demons. within our souls, and inside our mind… lies the missing pieces of a child. buried deep inside the mixed emotions, the constant frustrations and the remaining pieces of our broken hearts… is the answer to our every last question. We all sit and wonder why we are where we are at that exact moment, and every one of us asks ourselves… what does this mean?  

I stand alone at times, standing out in a crowd amassed in the millions, searching for a person, to help me understand why? Then there is the sudden and ever present question of what if? What if I fail, what if I fall, what if by this one decision, will it affect the rest of my life? and if so, would it be for the better or worse?  

What if while taking the time to write in this journal, the entire world came to a halt, and the oceans refused to stop their rotation, forcing tidal waves thousands of feet high onto the shorelines, killing millions with no feeling, no regret, and no remorse. what if?  

Now you have to ask yourself, why do you ask yourself what if, when regardless of your decision, it in fact plays no part in the fate or the path your life will take. You have one life to live, only one hand of cards to play with… you have to play with the cards you are dealt, and hope to a higher power you are dealt a flush of some sort.  

I take pride in what I write, in my eyes it’s the ability to somehow, just maybe reach out and touch someone… the ability to just once, help someone with a decision, a fear, or a question that they are too afraid to ask. I take pride in my heart, although it has been beaten, it has been broken, and it remains torn… no matter the change in my actions, my mind, my body or soul. I still have my heart, and it is the single strongest muscle in my body, not only physically, but emotionally.  

Now what if, I lost everything? would I still be the person I am today, or the person I was yesterday?… or will I become the person I am to be tomorrow, or the next day. but if you were listening folks, what’s the point in asking what if? when everything you want is right before your eyes. it’s not getting what you want, its wanting what you have. 

Music: A Perfect Circle feat. Incubus and Finger 11 – Falling Behind