It is funny, you think you know someone and then they do a complete 180 for no reason whatsoever. Sometimes it is easier to run and search for a path that is less traveled and make some sort of attempt at starting over and erasing memories both pleasant and painful of those who were once in your life but were quickly replaced by a simple yet concrete form of mild and abstract amusement. I mean shit, look at
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Okay so it’s been a long week or so, and my absence from LiveJournal is soley because of both my lack of motivation and my lack of patience. Sat night my car was vandalized, 1,200 in damage and now Wednesday I have the car back together and better than it was. It hurts me to know that someone would do this, and that I have to take all these extra precautions just to protect myself and my car.
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It’s 2:30am…. I am sitting here alone and just thinking about what is happening. I am beginning to think that by talking, I only make matters worse, and that it is easier just to keep in what I have to say. Sometimes it is like we are looking for a fight, picking and pushing looking for something to complicate things. The hardest part is most of the time I do not even know what started it, or in the
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Okay so I am going to take some time to write in here a bit, a little not life story conversation and just a little bit of normal. Ok so there really is no normal, there is no standard for how we are all supposed to act or live, so let us just say… a little bit more real. Ok there it is again, what is real? Is real what you are living? the good and the bad, the
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Inside of us all lies the broken fragments of our inner demons. within our souls, and inside our mind… lies the missing pieces of a child. buried deep inside the mixed emotions, the constant frustrations and the remaining pieces of our broken hearts… is the answer to our every last question. We all sit and wonder why we are where we are at that exact moment, and every one of us asks ourselves… what does this mean? I stand
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Here I sit once again, eyes closed and my heart laying there in front of me. I’m looking back through the memories in my head, searching through the indexed faces and thumb nailed photographs. Its hard for me to accept sometimes, where I am today, and who I am trying to become. I’m looking back at the days I felt used, the nights I was abused. Looking back at the tears I’ve cried, the endless rivers of tears flowing side
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Giving In…I have given into the fact that LiveJournal will not give me my old journal back, two years of memories gone that will never be recovered. No reason whatsoever as to why they suspended my account, never an email or a note or even a hint that they would do such a thing. Even now several months later I hesitate to start a new journal, knowing the likeliness of another deletion and taking that risk seems a little out
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How long have we been waiting, for time to fall in place? What is it that keeps us fighting, we are running out of space Staring into darkness, nothing left to render I close my eyes forever, I bow my head, surrender Its times like this that break me down Leave me crawling along the ground Searching for answers and seeking the truth Unknowing the questions that harness the proof Falling now I lose my step It’s hard to breathe
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