This place was once a home picked out by me and her, while we were moving forward our hearts were torn apart. Now years later her name rarely leaves these lips, until I am reminded of everything I miss. I miss waking up to breakfast and her touch, so long ago when I was truly in love. So much has happened that can’t be undone, now out of options I have nowhere to run. This place was a home once built out of love… this place is my prison, it’s my loaded gun.

Everywhere I look and around every turn there’s another reminder of the bridges I’ve burned. I gave away my heart and watched it slip away, time after time until nothing remained. Afraid to be alone I befriended the drugs, only to start over again once I sobered up. So many think they know me yet few have ever seen, the fire once inside me, the beauty of my dream. They laugh at my surrender while I quietly fade away, this place is not my home now, instead my lonely grave.

To those I have encountered, to those I have embraced, to those I have befriended, to the lives I may have saved. To my best friend and my brother I miss when we were young, before we both were beaten and blindly led by drugs. To those I’ve shared this place with your ghost still carries on, to each and every roommate who I have not forgot.  This place may be a prison but if these walls could talk, I’m sure I could be laughing at half the things they saw.

From movies on the couch to burgers on the grill, to each stupid party and every single stupid girl. The leaves in the fall, the cat’s in the snow, the first day of spring when the cars first come out. I’ll never forget the memories we’ve shared, you may have forgotten but don’t think I don’t care. This place was a home once built out of love, now lies in runes brought down by mistrust. This place was my home I once felt complete, this place is my prison, this is my self-defeat.