So, it has been forever and a day since I wrote in here, I am pretty sure that no one except Lori reads it anyways but I will take some time and write down a little about my life and what has been going on.  

Things have been on a roller coaster lately, up and down pulling negative G’s that could send a NASA pilot into a whirlwind. I have been so close to an edge that jumping off became more of a decision than a last resort. I really do love her, no matter how close I get to that edge she pulls me back, and she doesn’t even know it.  

I spend a lot of time thinking about the past and not enough looking to the future, not enough time thinking about today. I am happy today, it has been a good day and despite the bad lately, I am able to smile and not think about anything other than right now.  

I miss my friends and what they meant to me, a lot of my closest friend’s kind of gave up on me and some of my better friends are too lost right now to find their way home. Pretty soon I have off for a whole 10 days, it will be so nice to spend time with Lori and do things we normally don’t get to do.  

The summer has flown by so fast and it’s like I never did anything, work kills me when all I really want is to be home and be with my family. Lori you mean the world to me, and although this night is insignificant for we have done nothing more than what we normally do, it means the world to me. In time we need to focus on this good and forget the bad, all our problems big and small will get better in time, and tomorrow is a new day with a new chance at life.  

So here I am again, I am standing at the edge, only this time I am staring out into the ocean with fresh breath of air, I look around and see my life, thunderstorms behind me and the sunshine on my face, what do I do… jump. 

Mood: Happy
Music: Bryan Adams