Here I sit once again, eyes closed and my heart laying there in front of me. I’m looking back through the memories in my head, searching through the indexed faces and thumb nailed photographs. Its hard for me to accept sometimes, where I am today, and who I am trying to become.

I’m looking back at the days I felt used, the nights I was abused. Looking back at the tears I’ve cried, the endless rivers of tears flowing side by side the endless forests of my fear. Looking back at those I have loved, and remembering those who I have lost.

Looking back at every sunset, every thunderstorm, and every moment in my life, where I was left standing there alone with no around me for miles, and knowing that despite the skies and the force of the wind, that this time will pass.

Looking back at everything I am today, everyone I have touched in my life. Looking back at this exact moment, knowing that by looking back I am only dreaming of a life that was once where I stood, and not accepting the life that I have here today. Everyday change occurs, within ones heart, ones mind, and inside their eyes.

Everyday another person realizes that what they want is to far out reach, and what the may obtain is just around the corner. These are thoughts that we all deal with everyday, the crossroads in life and the stepping stones between who we were and who we are. I look around me at those still with me, waiting patiently for a sign that everything will be okay, and that the changes that occur are for the better and not for the worse.

Now I close my eyes again, only this time…. I’m looking forward. I see a life that I am building, each day, one breath at a time. I see the life that I share with those that I love, a life that i once only dreamed of, and that dream that was once out of reach. I see the eyes of a baby boy, staring at me wondering what he did wrong, when to him nothing could be any more perfect.

I see the tears of a lover lost, and the smile of a promise made. I see tomorrow the sun will shine, and that in the days to come, it will always storm… and the skies will always breathe into life, the great fury of a force that can not be tamed, cannot be stopped, but will always be remembered. only this time, I’m not standing there alone, and when I look around me… I can see for miles.

Music: Evanescense – Fields Of Innocence