Sheltered, beneath the warmth of loves embrace, this world is not all that it appears to be. So many different shades of gray yet inside we are all still children. Not one of us truly wishes to grow up, for in our hearts we will live as children eternally. Life has a strange way of making us grow old; another responsibility leads to another failure.

I sit here alone day in day out finding more and more ways to fight back the definition of being an adult, when I think adult I see mothers and fathers, criminals and hero’s all trying to find there place in this world. We all know the struggle that comes with the phrase “you’re no longer a child”. But what if we still want to be a child, who says your time expires at 16, 17? Where are these standards expressed in the rules of life?

I want to run free threw the streets, without the fear of being caught. I want to breathe freely the same air, as every boy and girl scattered atop the sand defining the shorelines of the ocean. I want to believe in a higher power, without having to worship your god.

I want to believe that happiness is real; I want back my innocence that was ripped from me at such a young age. I want to believe that love can conquer anything; I want to start over and be just a kid again, because without that piece of my life, I don’t think I will ever be truly alive. Just a hollowed ghost of a guy that someone once loved, the broken pieces of somebody’s baby boy, the memory of that one day where everything made sense.

I find myself every day looking at kids of all ages, wondering what they are thinking, and what it must feel like to be them. There’s an 8 year old playing games, embracing the length of his future. Or a 15 year old just about to get his license, watch out world when he finally hits the streets. A 20 year old trying to find her place in life, she cries alone at night and hopes that no one is looking.

At 23 years old half of my life is coming to an end, and everything I have survived is now nothing more but a distant memory. I have loved and I have lost, I have lived and I have learned. Where do we define the solid ground that’s finally safe to walk upon? Who do we ask for permission to let go? So many questions… questions about life, love, loss, and the elusive happily ever after. We spend our lives searching for answers to all these questions. But what if in the end, our life is over and we spent its entirety asking all the wrong questions?

Time stands still for no one, your moment is now. Take one deep breath then jump from the edge, regardless of what may lie at the very bottom; the view on the way down is breath taking.